Possible to turn back time?

it's only when I am heartbroken then I will start to think of blogging. read thro the entries 2 yrs ago and really wish I could turn back time. regret the way I treat him which probably lead to the current situation I am in now. I am totally lost and do not know what should I do to make it works. I do not wan to end it though many ask me to...I am torturing myself now but hoping for the better in future...

ask if he has plan anything for my bday. any presents for me? all he can reply was tat day then see how... yesterday he said he was busy and ask me to go back first... he is like reporting strength when he called me while waiting for bus home as well as reached home. I seriously duno wat to do already. the last conversation we had was at 9pm whereby he asked me to go hm and rest early.... when I MSG him good nite at 11+, as usual no reply... really hurt and sad... mind wandering if he contacted and met her last nite... after all they have been actively in contact during his reservist week.. talking on the phone for hours during wee hours... i choose to continue with him and this is the torture and suffering I have to get. 

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