Have been feeling very down these 2 days... kept asking myself wat actually I wan... I seriously duno.... To wan him back??? No.... but i jus cant make myself happy.... My expression on my face is always sian, like wat Ser commented... I am confused... very confused.... i really do not wan him back though I kept thinking about the past... I can picture myself if things were to be back to normal... I have used to wanting to end our relationship as well... can remember that I wrote a few entries in this blog about things he had done to meke me really upset but eventually I deleted those posts when things have been resolved... I only wanted happy memories to be on my blog.... but somehow he has runied wat I wanted... Now are all posts of my confused feelings... When I talked to him on the phone, I was not happy as well... the tone/way he spoke hurts me... no care/concern from him... I told myself no one can hurt me again... i must be strong & happy cos only I can make myself happy.... but at times, my mind will jus sink back to the past.... believe this jus cannot be helped.... everyone around me can do it... so can I rite??? After all he is not the right guy for me... y waste my tears on him??? I wana be strong... God, pls help me to be strong again!!!!!

As you can see, my mind is confused thus the things I wrote will oso made whoever is reading this entry confused... who cares.. i jus write watever that comes into my mind...