I m back from Genting... happy times always pass so quickly.... Didnt went to the theme park afterall... he dun feel like playing & i oso start to scare when I saw the rides.... on the first day there, vomitted the whole nite... oso duno issit cos of the food... but he oso ate the same thing... jus suddenly felt my stomach very bloated... even vomitted the medicine I took after 5 mins... so rested in the hotel room the whole nite... next day went to the casino.. spent the whole day there... not much luck... won abit initially but after which lost.. sad... the last day tried our luck again before catching the coach... but too bad..still no luck... hai~~~ Despite lost money, I enjoyed my trip there especially with him... though small actions like always holding my hand (he very long no hold liao), it makes me happy... Still remember when on the coach to Genting, I was looking at my hp when suddenly he came over just to give me a kiss... its so sweet... :)

Forgotten to mention, I dreamt of him & the bitch on our 2nd nite @ Genting... I hate the feeling in it & glad that its a nitemare... Yesterday on our way back in the cab, thought about the 1st & 2nd time when we went Genting.... tears started to flow down... Remembered the 1st time I was still staying at my home... 2nd time at his place & now I end up at my aunt's place.... just felt pathetic... & this feeling was so strong jus now when I was on my way back from his place... he is going to his fran's house though he did not tell me... & the sad part is he never ask me to go along... y??? His frans dun like me??? Dun he noe that I am staying all alone now & does he understand the feeling??? I need someone who can give me the security... I am not saying about financially but some1 I can rely on when I need him... When I am jus feeling so pathetic.. so all alone in this world.... I felt much more upset when I recalled he can even previously ask the bitch if she wans to join him & his fran for dinner.... but y not me???? I make him lose face???? There are so many questions in my mind which I wan to ask him.. but i noe I cant... Finally I sms-ed him... asking y dun he ask me along when he go out with him frans.. but till now he have not replied... I have been hesitating whether to sms or not initially..cos I dun wan to spoil the happy times in Genting but I cant help it... this is bothering me... Can he give me the security I wan??? I dun need anything except him by my side & be true to me.... Is this too much to ask????