**Too Many Thoughts...**

Happy to have my Calvin with me... these past mths were great....feel so blissful... Whenever I go to work, will always look forward to noon time.. thats when we will meet for lunch together... after which will be aiming for knock off time... whereby we will go pah-toh after that .. hehe.. I miss him whenever I dont see him... guess I am just so in love with him... I love just staring at him... looking at his boyish face with the cheeky smile... overall my boy is soooo cute... I love him... :)

On the other hand, I dreamt of Kenneth twice...can still remember in both dreams, he is still my bf....weird rite? does my heart seriously wish this is true, thats why I had such a dream? I dun think so.... I am just too into Calvin already... Come to think of it.... this Sunday (14th May) will be one yr since we broke off... how time flies... if nothing had happened, we would have been together for 4.5 yrs already.... Everytime I think of this, I have fear of history repeating itself... What if such thing happen again? What if only after years then we broke off? Can I stand up again? Many things had happened between the period Kenneth & I broke off till before Calvin came into my life... thinking back now, all the things I do are so unlike me... so stupid...so foolish... think just wasn't in the right state of mind then... I cross my fingers & pray such things will never happen again... hoping that Calvin will be mine forever......